What to do when feeling discouraged and defeated 

I did my best during the 3-day challenge. 

But I didn’t make it. 

And I gave my all for the Hell Weekend. (this is legit the name of the challenge). It was so close. I could have made it, had I pushed a little bit more.

The feeling of discouragement ate me for a day after the event. And I will remember that experience for a long time. (maybe forever). I regret not pushing through. And I’ve been trying to be kind to myself because I think I made a mistake.

My heart is still a little sore right now, but the feelings of discouragement have died down, thankfully. 

So now, I’m ready to share what to do when you’re feeling discouraged and defeated. I’ll also share how I plan to rise after ‘not making it’ to Hell Weekend’s finish line.

You might not need it now (hooray), but bookmark this post for next time, if you need it. 

DISCLOSURE: This post contains Affiliate Links, which means I receive commission, at no extra cost to you, when you make purchase using those affiliate links. As an Amazon Affiliate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Here’s my full Disclaimer.

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Feeling discouraged 

I was really feeling discouraged the day after the challenge. But after intentional thinking. I’m feeling better. In fact, after self-reflection, the experience inspired me to write this blog post.

It would probably be more helpful if I told you about the 3-day challenge right? 

So, on the 30th of September 2023, I joined PIPS VIP. I love it there because of the diverse community and the good people in there. The membership offers regular challenges that move the needle, just like the Hell Weekend.

If you’re curious, check out the PIPs LITE Membership first. Or you can grab one or all of the freebies below.

• Free Course – Blogging Foundations
• 250+ Digital Product Ideas to sell ( Freebie)
• Your Passive Income Guide $0 to 6 Figure Overview

So last weekend I joined the Intensive Course Creation Challenge, which has been called the “Hell Weekend”. 

This 3-day challenge blasted my confidence and at the same time boosted my resilience.  – E

​And I think the name fits really well. It was hard and a lot of work. (not a complain, just stating the fact).

It was…

• intense, and
• high-pressure

But…

• it was also an amazing challenge and a character-building experience
• the name was Hell Weekend – but there were so many angels there who worked and supported us so patiently. 

The challenge was so organised and there was plenty of support offered.

I came out grateful, fulfilled, and disheartened at the same time. Didn’t survive because I decided it was over when I could have pushed through. Totally ruined my own path, But I’m taking full accountability now.

Writing this post is my small step to do better. 

Feeling discouraged isn’t a bad thing at all

I hope that this blog post will help someone who’s also dealing a similar experience. Someone who’s feeling discouraged, not necessarily from a challenge like Hell Weekend, but in life in general. 

We are all human beings and a period of discouragement is inevitable when you’re trying to piece together a bigger picture. 

You may feel discouraged: 

• when things don’t go as planned. This is common in daily life.
• as you go through a tough time and the negative feelings are taking the reigns 
• when you spend an enormous amount of time doing something and yet, you’ve got nothing to show for it. 

The good news is, that you have your own power to flip the experience, turning it into something that builds you. 

Feeling discouraged can be a wonderful way (also painful) to look at your own abilities to prepare yourself when hard times show up again later in life. 

You’ll have enough appreciation of what you’ve done so far and you’ll find a new way of looking at things. 

That’s why I think feeling discouraged isn’t a negative thing after all. 

How to overcome feeling discouraged

Feeling discouraged involves a sense of disappointment, disheartenment, or a reduction in confidence due to difficulties or setbacks. This is exactly what I felt at the end of Day 3 of the challenge. 

It made me question my own abilities, my determination, and especially my commitment. 

However, it also taught me a lot of things. 

During challenging times, the feeling of discouragement and defeat might rear its ugly head, but it’s essential to find ways to overcome it and emerge stronger. 

“When you feel discouraged remember why you started in the first place.” – Unknown

Overcoming discouragement usually involves a shift in mindset, seeking support, and finding renewed determination to face challenges. A great way to do this is to do a self-reflection.

I’ll share more about my experience from the challenge and how focusing on my mindset made a huge difference in the end. 

But for now, here are the Tips for when you’re feeling discouraged and defeated.

1. Acknowledge and validate your feelings

Accept the fact that feeling discouraged is a normal part of the human experience. It’s ok to feel this way. Give yourself permission to acknowledge your emotions. They are valid feelings and you just need to feel those feelings. 

2. Reflect 

Spend a little while to reflect on what might have been the root cause. For me, the best way to do this is to retrace my steps by looking back at what happened. This is why whenever I start a project, I always spend a little time making a Notion Space where I can record and document everything. 

3. Practise Self-Compassion and Self-care 

Be kind to yourself when you’re feeling discouraged. 

Reset.

Regroup. 

Do things that will nourish your mind, body, and soul. 

Have enough rest. 

4. Seek support from someone or a Supportive Community

If you have a family member or a friend whom you can lean on. Reach out and ask for support and guidance. 

Share your feelings and be receptive to encouragement and reassurance. 

Consider joining an online supportive group or community where you can connect with others who have experienced similar challenges.

5. Reframe Your Perspective and Set Realistic Goals

Shift your focus from negative thoughts to positive ones. Challenge any limiting beliefs or self-doubt that may be contributing to that feeling..

From the 3-day challenge, I learned that a negative thought can always be flipped. It can always be reframed. 

Rising stronger from the Hell Weekend 

I’m trying my best to be intentional. So even if I know that it was totally on me, as to why I didn’t make it, I’m trying to be kind to myself. While I reflect on what I could have done differently, I’m also leaning more on the thoughts that I can do better.

So after reflecting on what happened, I moved on and purposely planned my next plan of action.

I’ve done a lot (but not enough) 

On Day 3, I’ve done: 

1. The video lessons with transcripts (having Saff and Moon’s names on my second screen got me through it). Saff and Moon are the 2 girls who inspire me when I’m blogging.
2. All the deliverables
3. Mock-ups for the marketplace
4. The sales page 
5. Thank you page 
6. Promo emails 

The only things left on my checklist were the welcome video and the next step. 

I was so close to the finish line. 

And I don’t really know why I decided that the game was over, considering I’ve gone through these kind of moments from Day One. And I pushed through every time. 

Day 1

I was unsure because joining the challenge meant I had to commit to waking up at 2am to join the challenge. But I did it. I attended the first day super excited. 

Day 2

Day 2 started ok for me. But when I got to the video tasks, that’s when I froze. Video tasks have been a massive beast. It was like a thick wall I couldn’t get through.
Day 2 ended and I got nothing done.

But I was still determined so I worked even after Day 2 was finished.

After a 2 hours nap, I started the video tasks. I put Saff’s name and Moon’s name on my second screen and somehow it worked. I was able to record all the video lessons. (Moon and Saff are the 2 special blogging inspirations).

So Day 2 was still hopeful. Instead of sleeping, I recorded lessons even if I felt like I was a dead person talking due to lack of sleep. Luckily I’m naturally warm and friendly in real life so the videos weren’t horrible.

Day 3

I’ve worked through my own checklist and worked as fast as I could to meet the deadline. (Note- it helps that the challenge was organised. The emails and Google Docs shared were so helpful to me. Everything I could possibly need was there). And at the last hour or so, my kids woke up and I panicked. Because when they wake up it means I need to switch from being a Blogger to being a Mum.

No way I could finish all the lunch boxes and school drop off and all the remaining tasks in the Hell Weekend challenge.

I was tired.. sleepy and I lost steam. Somehow I forgot to remind myself why I joined. So I sent a message in the group saying it was over for me.

Maybe that was a bad decision and trying harder would have been a better choice. (I’m writing this with self-compassion so, I’m not beating myself for it)

“I made that decision based on what I had and what I knew at a time, so I just need to move on now.” E

Reflection

I’m feeling grateful for the Hell Weekend challenge. At the same time, I can’t help but wonder.

What if I didn’t send that message officially taking me off and saying, I’m giving up. And what if I just kept pushing through until Sadie said: “It’s time. Sorry, you didn’t make it” 

But I don’t really know why I stopped early. 

Was I not determined enough? 

Or did I just allow my brain to talk me out of it at the last minute, thinking my stuff wasn’t “high quality” because it was done under enormous pressure. I let go of all the “self-inflicted pressures” 3 years ago so maybe that was it too. Maybe I didn’t want to go back in that space.

Did I let my fear of having my face on camera took all of my courage and I wasn’t strong enough to hold onto the challenge?

Maybe because I felt guilty that it was the 3rd morning when the kids woke up and I haven’t been present with them for 3 days straight.

Or perhaps I underestimated what I could do in one hour.

I can’t really pin point now what has been the biggest block.

All I know is, I can use this experience to do better. And I will do better. 

Lessons from the Hell Weekend 

• The class is not finished until the teacher says “Class dismissed” 
• Self-inflicted pressure from time to time is necessary and it’s helpful.
• It’s not all about the finish line. Really it isn’t. I can easily say I failed or I wasted all that time. But I refuse to believe that. At the end of the day, I got something out of it.

My renewed commitment

I will:

• Stay on the PIPS Path
• Continue to post weekly (accountability updates)
• Keep going until I COMPLETE the PIPS VIP Guide

Helpful thoughts I choose moving forward

I am determined

Waking 2 am every single morning during the challenge was a massive effort for me. And I don’t have the luxury of sleeping early because I have a day job and family that depends on me. That was serious commitment and determination. (I can stop questioning my determination and commitment now).

I can do things faster while keeping quality of my work

Doing things faster while maintaining quality is definitely doable. I just need to find a way to do this.

I don’t need to show my face in all of the videos. Faceless videos are ok too.

So, I will work hard on this and try again. 

I need to guard my thoughts…at all times

My brain loves offering unhelpful thoughts when I’m under pressure, when I’m tired and sleepless. So I need to practise more awareness.

Where to go from here?

The bottom line is: Do the thing, as Sadie Smiley says.

If the result isn’t what you expect, it’s okay. Allow yourself to feel discouraged and then use the tips I just shared to get through it.

As for me…

I’m staying on my own path. And I will keep going.

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